When the pandemic shut down Next Gen Men’s after-school programs, the team tried moving their curriculum onto Zoom. Neither the adults nor the boys enjoyed it. So they asked the boys what they’d prefer.
“We’re on Discord,” they said.
That was the seed for NGM Alliance, an online community where young people play games, share interests, and find support. It sounds like online summer camp, but with with Minecraft and Fortnite instead of archery and canoeing.
Jake Stika is a co-founder of Next Gen Men, a Canadian nonprofit working with boys and men—and the publisher of Voice Male magazine.
We discuss:
Why boys are more likely to join a community recommended by a friend than one recommended by a parent.
How to help teenagers work through conflict rather than simply remove them from an online group.
How Jake’s own struggles with depression and the rigidity of masculinity norms inspired the creation of Next Gen Men.
Where Jake and I disagree about the usefulness of terms like “patriarchy,” and whether conversations about character and moral ambition can reach men who feel alienated by polarized debates over masculinity.
How do we give boys more room to be themselves without handing them another prescription for how to be a man? Jake says Next Gen Men once described its work as “redefining masculinity.” When people asked for the new definition, the team realized that “undefining” was closer to what they meant.
While Jake and I might disagree about some of framing around masculinity, we share the same goal: helping boys and men find connection, belonging, and purpose in their lives.
As always, we appreciate your feedback in the comments or via a direct message.
