Anna Lembke’s Dopamine Nation helped shape the strategy of Boys & Men Online. As you’ll hear in our conversation, it also changed my daily routine.
I spent a lot of time preparing for this episode … and then the conversation went somewhere else, somewhere fascinating and unexpected.
A few of the ideas we explore:
Impulsivity used to help men hunt. Now it helps DraftKings make money. Risk-taking can be a pro-social trait, a willingness to sacrifice for the tribe. But in a world of frictionless betting, gaming, porn, and status loops, that same impulse is easily exploited.
Boys and young aren’t addicted to games because they’re lazy. They may be starving for a quest. Digital worlds offer danger, mastery, status, progress, and heroic purpose — often more clearly than real life does.
The gender double standard in how we talk about sexual fantasy. Male porn use is often pathologized, while female-coded erotica and romantasy are more likely to be celebrated as empowerment — even though both can become compulsive and displace offline sexuality.
The most radical wellness practices may be the most boring. A cold shower. Silence. Doing hard things. Letting the mind rest instead of feeding it another hit of stimulation.
Asking for help can tell someone they matter. Reframing help-seeking not as weakness, but as a way to tell someone: “You have value that I need.”
Self-control is not enough when the casino is everywhere. Individuals have responsibility, but so do companies and policymakers — especially when addictive products are designed to exploid the developing minds of children.
And don’t forget, today, June 18, at 1 pm ET, we’ve got a webinar with kyla scanlon, German Lopez, Matt King, and Jonathan D. Cohen to discuss the gamblification of everything.
You can still sign up here.
