Survey data consistently tell us that dating is declining and sex is receding among Gen Z, especially for young men. But the following stats don’t tell us what it feels like, or why so many young people are putting off romance.
In 1976, 86 percent of American high-school seniors said they had ever dated. By 2016, it had fallen to 57 percent. In 2024, it was 46 percent, according to Monitoring the Future data.
The decline is more pronounced for young men, as young women tend to date older men. 63% of men ages 18–29 described themselves as single in 2022, versus 34% of women. (A 12-point rise for young men since 2019.)
Unsurprisingly, 30.9% of men ages 18–24 were sexually inactive during the previous year between 2016-18 compared to 18.9% between 2000–02.
The cause of the decline is more speculative, and there has been no shortage of speculation:
The Guardian produced a three-part documentary series on the decline of dating with episodes focusing on the UK, US, and South Korea. They explore three possible explanations: the manosphere, worsening gender relations, and a higher cost of living.
The New York Times Opinions podcast hosted a conversation featuring AIBM board member Christine Emba. Among the possible explanations they discussed: phones as a substitute for real-world interaction, anxiety among Gen Z women after the reversal of Roe, and #MeToo’s effects on the perceived risks of dating and sex.
Other commentators blame Gen Z’s risk aversion and low self-confidence, the cost of housing, and the side effects of antidepressants.
It’s less common to hear members of Gen Z describe for themselves what it’s like to date today. So I was pleased when AIBM’s summer intern, Diego Nunez, offered to describe his own experience. We discuss:
Waiting for the milestones: Diego says he hears from his friends that dating waits until the job, housing, and checking account are ready.
How COVID disrupted his generation’s first experiences with romance in high school
Designing spaces and events where romance takes shape and women feel safe
The effects of AI porn vs. the normalization of sexual content on TikTok
The one thing Diego would do to bring romance back for his generation
You can listen to the audio above, or the video version below:
If dating’s decline is partly a story about disappearing opportunities for connection, what can be done to build new ones?
As we prepared for this conversation, I was surprised by how little research I could find about what works to increase the likelihood of romance and partnership. Much of the research published in journals like Personal Relationships and Journal of Social and Personal Relationships examines relationships that already exist. I found little about the conditions in which new relationships form.
If you’ve seen rigorous research about how to create more opportunities for partnership and romance, please share it in the comments or with a direct message:
PS: Diego was the co-author of our new research brief, “Young men and cryptocurrency: What the evidence shows.” We’ll discuss that during next week’s episode.
